At one point in my career, I traveled the country as a Director of Memory Care for a national company. It was an amazing experience to visit different states and senior living campuses and observe the variety of philosophies and approaches toward dementia care. It has shaped what I have come to learn and understand about caring for people with dementia. My travels put me in a position of active learning, and I found myself picking up best practices to add to my repertoire of teaching. But it often left me to wonder if there was one best practice that stood head and shoulders amongst them all.
It was through an encounter with an incredible woman with dementia that I found it. I will never forget meeting Barbara, a 52-year-old woman living in a memory care community in Idaho. Barbara had early onset dementia, a fast progressive type. She was quite able-bodied but, due to her dementia, was experiencing symptoms of expressive aphasia (the ability to understand conversation but difficulty in expressing her thoughts). Throughout my four-day visit we had many conversations together and, as you might imagine, our interactions were full of focused listening, patience and gestures to help the conversations along.
Humor made our brief relationship even more meaningful as we laughed at ourselves for creating our very own creative sign language. On the last day of my visit, through hugs and joyful tears, I said goodbye to Barbara and wished her well.
As I headed towards the door, I heard her call my name and watched as she hurried to catch me. Barbara reached for my hand and with her other hand tapped her chest over her heart. In a perfectly clear voice she said to me, “Tell them, tell them, we are still in here.”
Her final words have guided my career and lifelong quest to change how people perceive dementia and how we care for the person who is living with dementia. I am incredibly proud that Capri Communities has made that pursuit possible through signature dementia programs that nurture individual ability and personhood for calm, peace and joy.
Capri’s Blu Grotto Memory Care employees complete a dementia workshop that brings to light the importance and value of caring for the emotional well-being of someone with dementia. Workshop role-playing and experiential exercises enlighten participants about the challenges of living with dementia and naturally develop feelings of empathy and understanding.
I coach and train caregivers — guiding them to see the whole person and to understand that the person is still. Still with dignity, still with feelings, still present and in our moment. To believe that a person is still is the foundation of my best practices because it comes from the wisdom of someone with a dementia diagnosis. I am forever grateful for Barbara who found the right words at the right time. If you or someone you know needs help understanding a recent dementia diagnosis, or would like to discuss any questions about dementia, please see my Ask Mari Pat contact form located in the Blu Grotto Memory Care section of Capri’s website.
